I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
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Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
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and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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