I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
