So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
