some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize