I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
