What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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