then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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