is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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