In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
