I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
