Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
