there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
