when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Also, beer. Big fan.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
