Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
