You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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