I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I'm jealous of your bromance
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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