If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
