the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
