So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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