have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
