You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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