When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize