I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
