it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
