I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
