also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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