I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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