i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
That accounts for only three of the penises
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
