Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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