Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
