why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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