it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
