Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
