I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
