hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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