I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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