She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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