i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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