VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
