I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
