Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
