I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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