good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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