I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
