id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
