Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
