I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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