Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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