don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
i came on her dog
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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