It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
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Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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