well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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