I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
