Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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