Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
