Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Only a mothe r could love this liver
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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