i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize