no, he came in my armpit
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
