The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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