so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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