I must be too annoying 4 u.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
