So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
