the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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